Tray

I have an uncle who was once reprimanded his servant for not bringing the glass of water in a tray. He taught him that whenever you are asked for a thing bring it in tray.
After a week or so my uncle asked the servant to bring his shoes, and the servant brough them in tray :)

The Egg

The interview at ISSB (Inter services selection board) is pretty more pyschological where they check the candidate's mental capabilities.
Once the interviewer placed an egg under a cup and asked the candidate to pick it up without touching the mug. The candidate smilingly said 'How do i know that if there's an egg in there or not'
The interviewer picked up the mug and said 'Look its here'
The candidate picked up the egg and said 'Look i did it' :)

Efficiency

During an interview in the ISSB which was going on the third floor of the building, a candidate was asked to jump from the window. *You cannot deny a senior's order in army.
The candidate rose up, went to window, climbed, turned around and jumped inside the room :)

Smartness

The website that my father owns is basically of mcqs and also contains a book about ISSB (Inter Services Selection Board). Recently a candidate of ISSB called my father. He thanked my father and said that he did very well in the ISSB because of the help he got from the website and the book.
During his interview he gave answers of almost all the questions and that too very efficiently. The Selectors asked from where did he prepared so well. He said that he prepared from the website www.pak.......... .  The Selectors started laughing and told them that they had prepared there questions from the same website :)

The security key

My father runs a website on which he has uploaded a book and the guide to open that book. To get the book you have to pay and tell my dad your machine id. In reply of which he will tell you a security code to open that book. He has also uploaded a file in which he has given the example machine id in case you do not understand what a machine id is.
One day he received a message saying 'I have paid the money, kindly let me know the security code to open it'
My father asked for the user's machine id. In reply he sent his machine id. My father replied him with the security code, but the user was unable to open the book and kept on messaging my father that its not working. Upon that my father called him and told him the procedure but still he was unable to open the book. After a toil of almost a quarter day, my father opened the guide to see what was the problem with it, and he came to know that the user has sent the machine id given as example in the guide book and no this machine id.

Dhur Dhur

I have the most adorable neice in the world alham du lillah :) here's the kiddo namely Munazza !!

We were overwhelmed with joy when she started and would teach her every single nasty word :D . Munazza is very fond of eating salt and whenever she wanted it she would say : 'Lalaaaaaaa' *with a tilted head and innocent smile* to address my cousin. By Lalaa she means anti.

My cousin was doing something when Munazza called 'Lalaaa'. She looked towards her with a smile and said 'Yessss'. In a very soft reply, raising her eyebrows Munazza said 'Dhur Dhur'

* Dhur dhur is a punjabi word which in english means 'Get lost' hehe :D

The Meow Scene

About 1 and a half year back I, SB, TJ and TQ were having dinner at hostel. SB got a text and started laughing hysterically. TQ had gone to kitchen to grab something. Meanwhile SB told us the text and it goes like:

4 men in jail
1 rapist
1 murderer
1 psycho
and
1 gay

the rapist says: "if there was a cat here, i'd fuck it till i die"
the murderer says: "when u're done with it, i'd strangle it to death"
the psycho says: "when u've killed it, i'd fuck it till i die"
the gay sitting quietly in the corner says: MEOW

By the time TQ came in we were laughing like the TOM in the TOM AND JERRY SHOW.
We told TQ about the text *and that too with a great difficulty cos we just couldn't stop laughing* and with an almost expression less face she inquired 'WAS THERE A CAT IN THERE?'

Strange Trees

In villages it is commonly oberserved that people specially ladies do not leave their house unless and until it is very necessary. I'm talking about almost 30 years back, when i was not even born ;) . My grand mother had a friend who must be almost 50 years old at that time, experienced to go out of the village for the very first time. Once she came back my grand mother asked her eagerly how did she feel about going out.

She exclaimed ' You won't imagine, the momen i stepped into the bus all the trees started running' :)

The Don Carlos Ad

My grand mother is a 75 years old now. She did not study anything except Qur'an in her entire life. There were no facilites to get education in the era she was born.
Once when i was in my first year, we went to village alongwith our cousins. At night we were all watching t.v. and the famous Don Carlos Ad came up. You remember this one?

My grand mother in a very pitiful voice said to us 'be quiet children, can't you see she is singing a very sad song'

*Her innocence didn't let her judge that it's an ad :)

The heating rod

Once upon a time when my father was leautinent he had a friend leautinent Arshad who just got a new servant for himself. He asked the servant to heat the water for him with the heating rod. After an hour when he inquired the servant about the water he said that initially the heating rod was red (means working) but it went off after a while. Leautinent Arshad went to fix the rod.
When he got outside he saw that the bucket was being placed above two bricks and heating rod was being placed underneath the bucket between the two bricks :)

The little prayerer

My friend's neice is an adorable 3 years old. Some elder was praying around her so she also got herself into the prayer position and grabbed her father's cap and kept it on her head. Whenever she would go down in the Sajdah her cap would drop. She woul stand up and fix it again, but didn't talk cos she knew that during Namaz we don't talk. When the incident repeated itself for a 3-4 times she got up and said very innocently ' Allah  mian meri topi rakh lete hein (Allah Talah keeps my cap whenver i go down)' :)

Logic

In our childhood my brother farhan was quiet afraid of taking slides and sea-saws. He thought they were dangerous. Once on eid we went out with Uncle Nasir's family to an eid fair. Farhan was around 4 three years old, his friend Haider was also 4 years old and i was 6 years old. I and Haider went for the horse riding while Farhan decided to stay back with Uncle Nasir and our Father. Uncle Nasir wanted Farhan to go horse riding with us.

Uncle Nasir: 'Farhan, why don't you go to do the horse riding?'
Farhan: 'One might fall'
Uncle Nasir: 'But you see Meena and Haider have gone'
Farhan: 'But still they can fall'
Uncle Nasir: 'They will hold tight onto the horse and they won't fall'
Farhan with quiet an interrogating face looked toward the uncle and said 'What if the horse falls?'

Peace, wealth and harmony

Once we were in our class studying about Imam Malik and his student Imam Shafi. Imam shafi had left the house to study Hadees from Imam Malik. Imam Malik was a poor man but he served Imam Shafi very well during his stay at his place for 3 years. Imam Shafi then went to Iraq to gain more ilm about Ahadees. Being in Iraq he heard that Imam Malik has become a rich person. Imam Shafi thought to go back to Imam Malik and see his behavior as a rich man, because he had been with him in the worst of times and Imam Malik had been very humble and curtious.

I untentionally looked towards my friend and she in a very serious voice said ' He must have died ?'
( she meant only death could bring such wealth and peace)

And then our Mam told us that Imam Malik had started teaching Ilm-e-Hadees in the Masjid-Nabvi and rich people used to give him money as an honour. :)

You see my friend is inncoent :p hahahaha